HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is to damn funny:

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Moderate
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

Yeah, that's me. Come visit me at the 2 level of Hell - I'll be the whoreish one (I prefer slutty rather than whoreish).

OK, I'm done... gotta get back to work.... I really need to stop taking these stupid tests. I'm such a dork!

3XThursday : 05/01/03 : Thou Shall Not Steal (great questions Jake who last Sunday had his bicycle stolen so in retrospect on that event this weeks questions are about theft.)

1. So have you ever had anything stolen from you? What was it? Who did it?
Yes, mostly trivial stuff. In highschool someone stole my rubber bat out of my locker (bastards! that was Bob!) Not sure who did it. And this past January some little brats from the apartments decided to steal the plastic candy cane decorations outside my door and break them in the creek. Little fuckers. I've had things stolen off my desk from work before, and I'd whine and bitch. But as I said mostly trivial stuff. I did have an uncle who stole my jewlery box when I was 11. What an ass.

2. Have you ever stolen anything in your life? You can plead the Fifth if you want to.
Oh yeah, back in my lawless days with my sister. At one Jr. High we both attended the same school, we used to go through the lunch line and steal lunch (this was the snack bar line not the regular food line) for ourselves and our friends. Some minor shoplifting as a child. A street sign in high school.

3. Who was the biggest thief in your mind? In modern history or historically?

Well in my mind it would be my low-life theiving uncle. Fucker stole my mothers camera at my great grandmothers funeral! In history.... I'd say any of the conquerors. They all stripped the native people of their valuables and culture.

Bonus Question for Comments: Are there any situations where it is morally justified to steal? What would that be?

Yes in extreme situations of war or social oppresion where you are trying to feed your children and there are no other alternatives.

Gonna be a busy day today....

Things to do:

Make Ren costume for D.
Clean house
Fit Ren costume for D.
Take pics of Ren costume.

Things to write about soon:
Trip to fabric store: Monkey Sandwich
Waffle House
Gangsta 101
My fish (yes god my fish again)

Now why do the lawn people here start doing lawn stuff RIGHT infront of my bedroom window at 8 am? Why? I'm sure I'm not the ONLY person in the world who might like to sleep in! Super Girl is visiting D so I didn't have her waking me at 7 am.

L - you had me laughing hard. OMG - not at you, but what you wrote was a riot. I will have to write about 'The Natives and The Stomach Gods' that inhabit my being sometime.

A - Somehow I'm always the whorish one..... you virginal? I don't think so... ;o)

Well off to sew and clean and all...

take the virgin-whore dichotomy quiz.
and go to mewing.net. where we're all studs.

Tiny Little Dog…

This happened around the whole fish saga…. Just didn’t want to confuse anyone with other things. Anyway… before we head off to the pet store my oldest tells me that she wants a dog. Uggh. We got rid of the dog last year when we moved to the town house… Well let me correct that. I got rid of the dog last year… hmmm… still doesn’t sound right… OK, I dumped my dog at the pound and sentenced her to definite death. Yeah that’s it. Yes I do still have some guilt about all that, why do you ask? Anyway, I take a deep breath and explain that we already have 2 cats and some fish, we don’t need a dog, nor can we have a dog in the town house… and I had to mention that we already HAD a dog that we got rid of (hoping that would not prompt yet another discussion of where Foxy is now {dead} and how she misses her, yadda, yadda, yadda). She persists, I don’t feel like continuing this. Finally she says “How bout a little dog?” and holds up her fingers just about an inch apart, to which I reply “OK, if you can find a little dog that size, then we will get it.” Great, fine, not going to happen, argument over. When we get to the pet store (avoiding the Free Kittens box in the parking lot) she asks right away to see the dogs – I ignore her and go get my fish stuff. She persists the whole time asking when we can go see the dogs. She’s briefly side tracked by some cats in cages – oh bad for me.. I love cats and two of them were beautiful orange tabbies (my favorite), but I resist and distract her from the cats by asking her to help me find food and a toy for our own cats (who would not appreciate a new feline in the house…. In fact I think they would attempt to murder me if I did infact bring a new cat home… and hell this house only has room enough for one homicidal pet… who happens to bed dead now… so… I guess that’s not really and argument any more… hmmm… ) We head off to the check out, she is very unhappy that we haven’t gone to see dogs yet, but there isn’t any dogs in the store for sale – so I think “Whew – I’m out of that one!” But no – I just think I am. As we are heading for the line, in come two women with a basket and three Yorkie dogs in the basket, each one of the women is holding a tiny little Yorkie puppy! AHHHHHHHHHH! NO! Tiny Little Dogs! Damn it. So I let her go see the dogs and tell her that the ladies took the last of the tiny little dogs. Cosmic joke on me.

L had the coolest comment regarding Spike:

J, I am sorry to hear about Spike. (For those not in the know, Spike is a homicidal, vaguely hermaphroditic fish who has been getting it on with the other fish in the tank in a mindless quest to breed, occasionally murdering the other fish, and sadly, died herself last night). What can I say, J? Eros and Thanatos. Sex and Death. Maybe she got ahold of some bad fish food.

Eros and Thanatos... I think that sums up Spike's life pretty well.

I don’t know, maybe I killed them intentionally subconsciously… maybe I just got pissy thinking that my stupid fish was having a better sex life than I am. Jealousy! If I’m not getting any, then those damn fish aren’t either. Heheehehehe… Yeah I know.. I need help. ;o)

Details Of The Horrible Accident

I woke Sunday morning as usual, 4 or so smacks on the snooze button before I crawled out of bed to get ready for work. I was in great spirits; it looked like a really short day at work. I turned on the computer to check my e-mail (as I do every morning) then I walked to the kitchen to take my vitamins and crazy pills. I looked into the small tank and to my utter shock and horror Spike was laying motionless on the bottom of the tank and her boyfriend was floating on his side at the top of the tank. They both were dead! Dead I tell you! I looked around for any hint of foul play and saw none. I trembled with fear. Who would kill two simple goldfish? And… would I be next? I…. OK, that didn’t happen. I saw the fish, I said, “Shit! My fish are dead.” And I discarded above-mentioned fished into trash and emptied the small tank. I made sure the two fish corpses were covered in the trash so the kids wouldn’t see them then feel compelled to play with them (ewwwwww!!) or worse for one of the cats to find them and drag them out for a snack (fish parts on the floor – oh nasty!) Off to work I went. I was a bit disappointed that Spike was gone. I had that freaking fish for a year and a half! Some how she survived my utter and complete ignorance to fish care and my horrible neglect for about 6 months – at that point I decided that if she could tough out all that, I might as well put a little effort into owning a fish… I changed the water more often. And now a mere month into my big plunge into aquarium owning (I decided that a 3 inch fish was probably too big for a tank that held less than a gallon of water), Spike is gone. She was a interesting fish. Somewhat homicidal, always evil, mostly temperamental. I’m going to miss that evil little fish. * Sniff* * Sniff* A moment of silence please…. OK, I’m done… enough grieving.

After work - Off to the pet store! I had planned to go to Pet Smart even before the fish kill incident, now I had even more reason to go – Replacement fish!!!

Went right to the goldfish section and selected two fancy gold fish - a red and white ryukin and a calico fantail. I also bought one little comet goldfish. Then off to get a new filter (bigger, better, more powerful) and a bubble tube and a tank cleaner thing. I also bought some other things in the store – but they aren’t pertinent to this story. ;o)

Sooooo… I go home, clean out the fish tank thoroughly, set up the new things in the tank and drop in the new fish. Ahhh life is food. Valkerie and Thor (the red and white and the calico) seem to like it well enough. All of the fish LOVE the bubble wall. They are so funny, they will go to the bubble wand and get in the bubble stream and ride it up to the surface. Hehehehehe… they will do that over and over. It’s very funny, kind of like a carnival ride for them.

Damn it! I suck!

Fuck. I sucks so much. I have inadvertently killed Spike! (and her boyfriend) Damn it! My beloved evil homicidal bitchy fish is dead!

I read up on the internet about goldfish who were breeding. Several suggested moving the breeding fish to another tank so they can hit it in the privacy of a different tank (really to keep the big tank from getting all full of eggs - also if I did decide I wanted the trouble of raising the fry then I wouldn't have to worry about the big fish eating them). I had already notice some eggs in the big tank so I figured they could finish in the little tank. I prepare the tank as recommended and move the two into it at about 11 pm. I figured that by morning they would be done and I could move them back. Well they were done... as in done for. Dead as doornails. DAMN IT! After all the shit that fucking fish has gone through, to die in a nice clean tank is a real pisser for me. Oh well.... I chucked them in the trash this morning. I am going to get replacements later today.

I'll write a memorial to Spike a bit later.

OK, had to do another stupid quiz... couldn't help myself on this one. I like it... I knew I would be... it's one of my favorite fairy tales - I like the whole really long beautiful hair... it's so me.


Rapunzel - You don't like being told what you can
or can't do, and when someone tries to boss you
around, you rebel. You're liable to do exactly
what you want to, and devil take the hindmost.
Beware: the devil may do just that. (From
Rapunzel, by the Brothers Grimm)


Fairy Tale Lady
brought to you by Quizilla

All A Blur

It's the end of the week... even the end of Friday. I feel as though all the days have blurred together. I know I did things on different days, but it seems like everything happend today and it wasn't all that eventful of a day. I really hate when I get this feeling. Not quiet deja vu', but similar.

Towards the middle of the week, I remember feeling excited about something. All fired up and full of energy. Now I have no fucking clue why. Maybe I was on amphetimenes (just kidding), maybe I was drinking too much Coke that day (honestly), maybe I was on a day long sugar high from eating all the kids Easter candy (probably). I don't know. But now.. I feel... well... BORED. Shit I need a life. I did laundry today. Woohoo. Tomorrow I go to work - yippiee ding. Apathetic... that's what it is. Damn it sucks. I did get my pay check today - that's cool. And hubby has a lead on a job. He had an interview that went very well today. Praying it happens!

Our tax refund arrived - damn I love e-fileing. Hubby bought some movies for us. Toy Story (wanted to get that before it went to the vault), My Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Wild Thornberrys Movie (he knows I love that) and Who Framed Roger Rabbit (he loves that movie). Next week we'll get the car fixed the rest of the way (radiator and cooling fan need to be fixed). YAY for income tax money! Yay for tax deductable donations!

eh... I'm still bored... I think I'll go bore myself to sleep....

What? Are you still here? Go on, I can see you yawn.

Wow... Is It Friday Already?

This week has flown by. I've been busy too. Sewing some pretty dresses for my girls. Summer will be here soon and Super Girl needs some summer clothes. She's gotten to where she only wants to wear dresses - this is a turn around from the tom boy she has been so I'm happy, happy, happy to make her dresses. Yesterday I made her a pretty ballet skirt. She has been wanting one. I made ribbon roses to go on it. It's so damn cute! I think I want one for myself! I'm going to make a matching one for Cabage Patch. Little girls are so damn cute! :o)

Today I had my 'inspection' . It went well, as usual. Hopefully all this crap will be done in a couple of weeks. I am quite tired of feeling like I'm living my life under a microscope.

Hubby has a lead on a job - YAY! One of the employment agencies was really impressed with his skills and asked him to come in today to finish his testing and to discuss a permanent position. It would be making quite a bit less than he was, but that's still quite a bit more than unemployment! He'll keep looking for something making more though. Tough job market right now.

Anyway... more of my boreing life later... it's almost nap time now. YAY!!!!!!

Comedians....

I'm sitting here with Comedy Central on while I waste time before I head off to bed. Just waiting for this medicine to take care of this fucking sinus headache. Damn. I really should just give up on that damn over the counter shit and go straight to hard liquor. It might not take care of the sinus issues but I won't notice the pain and it would probably work a shit load faster than the OTC medicine. Anyway, on the television. I've noticed an odd trend. Most comedians on today are either women or they are gay (many of the women are lesbians, I might add). Why is that? I know in times past it seemed that most comedians were Jewish, now it seems that they are gay. I don't know why it is. I mean is there some sort of union that comedians are part of that make arbitrary rules for admittance to the union. This decade is Woman and Gays decade, the last one was Minority decade, the one before that was Jewish decade.... It's not that I'm complaining, I laugh at what ever is funny, so I really don't care, it's just an odd trend. eh, off to bed... head hurts...

Fish Saga - Continued.... Reason For Homicidal Tendencies Discovered...

I think I have finally discovered why Spike was killing other fish. (oh and by the way, the one fish which was all beat up by Spike is recovering quite nicely, and it appears that he has his dorsal fin back) I did a little reasearch into goldfish when all the agressive behavior was going on. I wondered if maybe it was an issue of Spike attacking a female fish or something. All the sites I consulted said basically the same thing that males developed white (or light colored) spots on their gill plates. Well the two new fish that ended up getting the shit beat out of them (one died) had black spots on their gillplates - just one one each side of their head. So I figured that might not be the issue. I did more reading and watched the fish more. I noticed the new fish (the surviving one) would start harrasing Spike when Spike was in the plants or near the side of the tank, and Spike would get all pissed and nip that fish. So I figured that fish was just asking for an ass kicking. But I also started to wonder if Spike was a female... Males will pursue a female quite agressively (kind of like some men in clubs) - so much so that they can injure her or kill her by driving her to the point of death from exhaustion. Hmmm... I watched.... The black spots on the other fish have gone away and he no longer harasses Spike. Hmmmm... Spike... is ... a.... GIRL! Well that makes the two homicides that have happend in this tank justifiable. I mean I've felt like killing some unrelenting men from clubs before, she was just taking care of unwanted advances. Maybe I should have done that back in my club days. ;o) there are no plans to change Spikes name, I think Spike fits her even better now that I know she's a really bitchy girl fish. I will however be watching the other fish for signs of obnoxious male behavior, and when it does happen (black spots and all) they will be put in the small tank until their sexual urges have passed - it's for their own protection after all - that and I DO NOT want baby fish.

L - hair issues... seems like the story of my life. My hubby just found me a new hair dresser - he did some hypnosis for this guy and in exchange I will get my hair cut. I'm excited but nervous, I'm very very particular about my hair and who cuts it. I prefer a very gay, even flamboyant hairdresser. I will NOT go to a woman hairdresser - EVER. Women suck as hairdressers. Besides, women are catty and tend to see other women as competition and therefore will not make a woman's hair look better than their own. Wonderful hair fairys do magic. Women are people who are there to create art on and make look fabulous - because if we look fabulous, then it reflects on them. Anyway - enough of that. The only way I have EVER EVER been able to get nice straight shiny hair as been with LOTS of straightener and a spray in laminator, then blow dry with a large round (metal) hair brush. It takes forever and the bathroom gets all hot, but it looks nice. I know people who swear by the electric hair straighteners, but only the ones you buy from the beauty supply places. I am curious but not sure I want to spend $20 or $30 for something that may be to hard to use or not work at all or worse damage the hell out of my hair. Anyway - that's my $.02

L- hehehehe... I love the plumber skit. As I remember it, it was a cartoon skit on Sesame St. or Electric Co. (I think Electric Co.). The plumber knocks on the door and hears "who is it?" to which he replies "It's the plumber, I've come to fix the sink." the reply he hears is "Who is it?" and he repeats "It's the plumber, I've come to fix the sink." At some point it cuts over so the viewer can see who is asking "Who is it?" - a parrot in an otherwise empty house. The gag continues until the plumber is on his knees yelling "It's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!!" For some reason, I have always loved that skit.

A - you have to stop compairing the size of the baby to items. I have this strange image of visiting you in the hospital to see the new baby and there in a blanket is a bananna with a diaper on. hehehehe...

It's The Plumber! I've Come To Fix The Sink!

Friday night while hubby was out, Super Girl was hard to get to bed, at one point she snuck out of her room and was playing in the bathroom upstairs. She was putting cat litter in the sink. Said action caused the sink to clog up. That scoopable cat litter is great for the litter box, but not so great in the sink pipes. Hubby had attempted to clear the pipe with the plunger, and with some Draino. No luck. He suggested we go to Wal-Mart and get a snake thing to clear the drain. I told him to try using a wire coat hanger unbent. So he tried but didn't have too much luck, I finished writing a letter and headed up the stairs to see how it was going. I saw the error in his method right away. I suggested making a hook at the end of the wire. Then I shoved it down the drain. I pulled it out and had quite a bit of muck. So I continued doing this for about 10 minutes until I had the drain cleared. Hubby had helped by removing the stopper thing, so I give him credit for fixing the sink also. It works and apparently I have the qualifications to start my apprecticeship with a plumber! I just need to wear pants that show my butt crack and I'm all set! (Hubby did the crack thing this morning... he showed enough crack for both of us!)

Riding A Burrito...

Today after fixing the sink (more on that in a bit), as a reward for my exquisite plumbing skills we headed off to Chipotle for lunch. Hubby had mentioned how he was curious to try it, and I was hungry so we grabbed the kids and headed off. It wasn't what I expected it to be. I thought it would be a typical Tex-Mex restraunt. But it wasn't exactly. They only make Tacos and Burritos, and you can get them any way you want. With pork, spicy beef, grilled chicken or vegitarian. You can get your burrito regular or in a bowl, with rice or with lettuce. And you can get chips also, with salsa or with guacamole. I seated the little people at the table while hubby stood in line, I told him I wanted the burrito in a bowl (I just couldn't order a regular burrito after that billboard... too many unacceptable images came to mind) - wanted lettuce not rice, and make it beef. Get tacos for the little people. So hubby shows up with my food, burrito in a bowl - chicken not beef, rice not lettuce - but it was good. Super Girl was having an attack of brat-itis. she would not eat her lunch (it didn't come on a bun, have a side of fries or a toy and wasn't served at a place with a playground attached - it wasn't food to her), Cabbage Patch ate some of her chicken taco, but she wasn't feeling well - she has mommy's SARS, poor baby. Hubby was brave and rode the burrito (yeah, right there in public even! Damn! Gay men will do anything won't they!) He had the beef - medium spicy. he said it was really good, but spicier then he expected. So, all in all the grown ups rated the place highly and the kids were unempressed. ;o)

L - OMG! That is so damn funny. I do love South Park. I didn't get to see that one all the way through. I was watching it but got a phone call and didn't see the way it ended. Must see it...

Bizarre Billboard Ad...

So I'm driving home from... well that's not really important.. anyway I see a billboard for Chipotle restaraunt - it says "Burritos so big you'll want to ride them." What? That doesn't make any sense and certainly does NOT make me want to EAT one. Made me think of strange and disturbing things that I really should not think about.... ahhhh... that reminds me.. need to take my crazy pills.

You're a vinyl/fetish corset. Grrrrowl.


What corset are you?
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How funny... I've always wanted one of thoes... ;o)