L- Oh gosh I hope you get the cool apartment! Then I'll come visit you! HAHAHHAA! Just kidding.. it's not like I get vacation! I can't wait to see pictures. Good luck!

OK, about the BITCH today. I was having a pretty damn good day, despite having 21 babies on the list to photograph. (eyes rolling up in head) the weekday person really had got to stop leaving C-sections until the last damn day. I had 2 NICU babies that had perfect pictures - I love doing the NICU babies because they are little miracles and I get to hold them for a few minutes. One baby was born on August 12 at just over a pound and was getting to go home today. He took great pictures. Odd thing about NICU pictures at that hospital, if the parents are there, they always look like shit. Not sure why.. just always works out like that. So ANYWAY... I'm down to the second to last person on my list and I go in, the mom is not sure she wants to get the picture today, because according to her the nurse that was in there earlier had upset the baby and made her break out in a rash *note - I was looking at a baby with out even a mark on her... a tiny little red spot that was fading was near her eyebrow. I tell the mom we can take the pictures and if she doesn't like them the sat photographer can do retakes (I'm trying to get credit on this picture.. this is before I realized she was the Bitch Queen's Daughter, Princess Bitchalot). She agrees. I get the cart and bring it in. then nurse sticks her head in the room and tells mom that the head nurse is here to talk to her (mom had complained about the nurse who upset her little pumpkin) mom is very abrupt with the nurse and tells her that the baby pictures are being done now, and she will talk to the head nurse in 30 minutes, I tell her it won't take but 15 to 20 minutes.. she tells the nurse she will see the head nurse in 15 minutes then. OK.... They dress the baby (grandma and mom) then I'm holding the baby and grandma starts criticizing me because I have her up on my shoulder and I'm trying to wake her up (mom wants her awake), grandma is criticizing because the baby's face is touching my sweater and she says that the baby does much better if she's not messed with (OK, what the fuck, the baby is 2 days old! I've had 2 kids, I know for a fact you don't know EVERYTHING about a child at 2 days - even if you gave birth to it!). I put the baby in the cart and start taking pictures. Grandma is across the room steadily criticizing me even touching the baby (pretty fucking hard to line up their faces if you don't touch them) I tell her that I have to do that and grandma proceeds to tell me that the baby always stays still if no one messes with her (yeah bull shit.. no baby stays still unless they are asleep.. and since we are wanting a picture with her eyes open...what ever grandma) Then grandma says how she's "taken 10 rolls of film already and the baby has cooperated for her" (the baby isn't being uncooperative... mom and grandma are just making this hard). I almost turned and said "Oh? would you like to do this since your such a skilled photographer?" Mom snaps at grandma to be quiet, I know what I'm doing. Well I stop touching the baby all together. I'm ready to fucking leave. Mom won't stop touching the baby, grandma is criticizing every picture (and they looked really good...she was just pissed I wasn't listening to her). Mom starts sticking a bottle in the babies mouth while she is in the cart.. to calm her down.. eyes rolling up in head (baby wasn't upset) I finally tell mom to move so I can take the last pictures. She pulls the bottle out, I snap the picture, mom starts messing with the baby again for another picture and I tell her I'm done. Grandma keeps criticizing the pictures (saying that some other pictures came out better because they KNOW the baby better) while I show them to mom, so I just print out the proofs and tell her that someone will come by tomorrow for re-takes. And I head for the door while mom is thanking me. shit what for? thanks for taking our abuse. whatever. I get outside, the head nurse is getting ready to head in. I turn to her and say "have fun" and give her a look of sympathy. she looks amused. People say to me all the time "Oh it must be hard to take baby pictures." I always reply "The babies are easy, it's the parents that are hard." This is why. But I have to wonder about this mom, this is her first baby, what is she going to do the first time that kid has a crying fit and she can't calm her down, what about the first night the baby won't sleep and mom is tired and irritable? If she gets so wound up over the baby crying now, she's going to need valium by the time this kid is rolling over!

OK, I've purged the negative experience.. I feel better.

Tonight I was discussing literature with my husband... I really need to find The Hunchback of Noterdame... I am curious about it now. I don't want to tell you why I am curious.. you would think I was stupid.. hehehe...