Scarby Update!
(finally)

This past weekend at faire was pretty damn awesome. I had only planned to go on Sunday as usual - but to go for all day Sunday as that was going to be my Mother's Day treat to myself. The day off of work! My boss is an insufferable Bitch and a very bad manager and didn't want to let me have the day off. Luckily I got it worked out so I didn't have to work the whole day. My new plan was just to work my small hospitals on Sunday morning and be done and ready to leave by 9 am so I could make it to opening gate. I didn't get finished with work until 9:30 am and then I couldn't find my black bodice (still can't, damned underwear gnomes must have it - little bastards) so I didn't leave until 11:30 am. *sigh*

Things were great once we got to faire. Me and the Little People met up with my aunt and grandmother. Grandma and GiGi spoiled the Little People as much as they could while I walked in parade - I got shanghied out of wench line by pirates! My crew that is.

Everyone had a great time Sunday.

Troll Dog

The Little People loved meeting the Troll and his dog - he was just like a real dog!

Prisoner!

Pitty I didn't have change for a $20, I would have put in a few dollars to keep her locked up.. er.. I mean FREE her.

Super Frizz

Thanks to the torential rains that morning, I had super frizzy hair from the humidy. Oh well I think most people were more worried about side steping the mud puddles rather than looking at my frizz.

Captain John feeling the love

It is good to be the captain.

Pirate Practice

This is why the Little People LOVE Captain John. He gives them swords to play with!

Practice for the other pirate also

It would be unfair to keep the other one out of mortal danger and not give her a sword also.

Old G

Gang sighting at faire.

Go check out my photos to see everything. I really need to move my photos elsewhere, for some reason the resolution on the photos is shitty on yahoo.

SO FUCKING BUSY!

I'm not dead people, so stop sending condolence cards to K. Sheesh, you don't post for a couple of days and people make all sorts of assumptions.

I have things to post about, like Mother's Day and how being at faire on Mother's Day rocked and how I almost didn't make it because of fucking work and how my other bodice is MISSING and how I wore my red corset and laced myself up and driving to faire (an hour and 15 minutes) all laced into my corset and my crew dragging me into parade with them and my kids being with Grandma & GiGi and... Well lots.

But I have no time now. D is here, we have to get ready for a luncheon. I'll post pictures soon.

Not As Planned

That's kind of the story of my life though. Things don't go exactly as planned... but I guess that's what makes it interesting.

I had hoped and anticipated a short day today what with it being Mother's Day weekend and Dr.s generally not wanting to work holidays. I knew that C-sections and inductions would have been done much earlier. Well my hopes and aspirations were dashed when I got here and had 22 babies on my list. Yeah, that's a lot. Luckily for me 3 have declined and I am pretty certain that at least one of the remaining 3 I need to schedule with will also decline. As it stands currently I have appointments until 4:15 pm and I will check with the remaining 3 after 4:30 pm. I won't be out of here until at least 5 pm then I have the joy of going to the other hospital.

I need to call the guy I have a date with tonight and let him know we need to move it back or move it to another day. Fuck I need a nap... or LOTS of Starbucks.

Well off to my next appointment.

Your Linguistic Profile:

65% General American English

25% Dixie

10% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Your Japanese Name Is...

Momo Matsudaira

What's your Japanese Name?

I kind of like Momo... awfully close to MoJo which I like a lot.

Your Birthdate: August 11

Your birth on the 11th day of the month makes you something of a dreamer and an idealist. You work well with people because you know how to use persuasion rather than force. There is a strong spiritual side to your nature, and you may have intuitive qualities inherent in your make up, too. You are very aware and sensitive, though often temperamental. Although you have a good mind and you are very analytical, you may not be comfortable in the business world. You are definitely creative and this influence tends to make you more of a dreamer than a doer.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Oddly accurate..

G*d Save The Little Children

Anyone who deems me a hero and jumps up and down excitedly just because I'm giving them SpaghettiO's for lunch is alright in my book.

Fire The Logo Person!

You MUST go look at this really bad choice of logos. (don't worry it's work safe, no nekked people)

Who came up with that logo? I wonder if they'd be willing to do political ads? I think I'd like them more with logos like that!

Good Morning!

How's your morning going? Good? That's great. And mine? Well it started GREAT! I got the ultimate pleaure of PLUNGING my toilet first thing in the morning! Woohoo! Nothing like towels soaked with toilet water to make your day start right!

Yesterday morning started with me trying to open the corn flakes and having the container just explode open, so I had to clean up corn flakes from EVERYWHERE. Much fun. I think this is becoming a theme.

Thanks For The Warning

Because I'm a mom, I say really stupid and rediculous things to my children to entertain them. Things like I'm going to eat your fingers/toes/nose/elbow/cookie or I'm going to cook you for dinner or I'm going to cover your mouth with duct tape... Okay that one is more to amuse myself... but for some reason they both perk up and ask for the duct tape, and although it's VERY tempting, I never do break out the duct tape as it would be way to difficult to explain to CPS that the kids WANTED the duct tape over their mouths, right now I'll just have to continue to keep Benedryl around for QUIET time.

Anyway... I digress... as usual. The other day as Cabbage Patch was sitting in my lap playing with me I told her I would eat her fingers and she stopped giggling, looked right at me and said "No, you can't eat my fingers, they will make you sick." All I could say was "Oh really? Okay then." And she got off my lap to go torture the cat, obviously no longer interested in playing with someone so stupid as to NOT know that eating fingers will make you sick. I wonder if she's been reading about the Wendy's chilli case?

Proudly Damaging My Childs Psychie Every Chance I Get

The following story is why I will never be voted Mother Of The Year and that is why I someday will be in a tower with a rifle aimed at Kathy Lee. Cabbage Patch regretably has inherited my bug-phobia. About the only BUGS she will touch are lady bugs and butterflies. Yesterday while walking home from the bus stop, Super Girl picked up a rolly polly and it was walking on her hand. Cabbage Patch was watching and ooohhh-ing. I took the bug from Super Girl and held it in my hand for a bit then in a moment of absolute insanity - I mean my brain was not fucking connected in any way at all - I flicked the rolly polly at Cabbage Patch who screamed like the little girl she is. And if THAT wern't enough - I LAUGHED! Then I had the thought that it probably WASN'T a GOOD idea to have done that nor to have LAUGHED. And I laughed again. Bad, bad, bad Judy.

Karma has a way of balancing out though. Today while while waiting for the bus this morning Cabbage Patch let out a blood curdling scream and came running to me - while still screaming. She pointed down to her foot and the only words I could make out were ANT and SHOE. I inspected her sandal and tried to inspect her toes for ants but that was neigh impossible as she had her toes curled so tightly I wish she had of had a lump of coal there to make a diamond. Her foot was literally curled in so tightly it only occupied half of her shoe. I inspected what I could and there was no ant - as I'm quite certain all the high pitched screeching had made the ant think twice and head for it's hill, all I found was a few specks of dirt and some grass. i did manage to calm her down and walk home, but I guess that was my payback for flicking that rolly polly at her. Bad me.

Come On Ride The Train

Last night to get to the vodka tasteing, I rode the train. Yes public transportaion at is best (sarcasm). Now, I am a seasoned veteran of public transportation having been carless and drivers licenseless until I was 23 (no that's not a joke). Hell I even dated a guy I rode the bus with! (that actually sounds much lamer than it was, I met him at college - we both were attending community college down town - he did have a car, but it's much eaiser and cheaper to take the bus. Actually that's still pretty damn lame.)

ANYWAY... Edana was convinced that taking the train would be the eaisiest thing to do for her also. So she reluctantly agreed. Edana had never riden the train before and wasn't so sure it was a good idea. Heidi convinced her it was much eaiser to take the train, and hell I didn't need to be talked into not having to drive and waste my gas - the round trip cost just over the cost of a gallon of gas. Plus I could READ if I wanted to! Edana decided to depart from the same train station I would be departing from.

K drops me off at the station and I walk over to the ticket machine, all the while keeping an eye out for Edana. When I get to the ticket kiosk this drunk comes up to me to 'help' me work the machine. Typical. Bus stations always have a lot of drunk and homeless hanging around looking for a handout. So I just smile and nod while I pay my $2.50 and get my ticket from the machine, then walk away. I find Edana standing reading a book and we get on the train. Then she tells me about how the drunk approached her while she was getting her ticket, before he could even get his speach going she turned to him and said "Dude, don't make me have to shoot you!" needless to say he did NOT continue talking and just walked the fuck away. I start laughing hard thinking of her scaring the crap out of that drunk. Wish I could have seen that!

Later on the train after watching Edana cautiously eye ever person getting on the train, I said "You never rode a public bus have you?" she confirmed my observation and I went on to tell her of some of my more interesting public transportation tales until we reached our stop.

Unfortunately we did not ride the train back as in my inebriated state I could not locate my ticket right off and the Captain insisted on driving us back to the train station to be certain we were okay to drive home. I'm sure the adventure would have been truly blog worthy. Edana and I will have to ride the train again sometime.

It's A Wonder They Didn't Throw Us Out

Last night was an Emerald Dragon crew building exercise - a Vodka Tasteing! It was a BLAST! This vodka was FABULOUS! I have to get some (Sable is getting some for a few of us).

The Captain and his lady,

having a pre voka beer

Chernobel Hair!

I guess I got a little too close to that Giant Chernobel Rat at the baseball game.

Hmmmm.. what could the Captain be talking about?

Now I'm truly sad I wasn't on that end of the table to hear THAT conversation.

Sable & Konrad

I'm surprised Konrad stuck around such a rowdy group!

We did get a bit loud (well Lady Edana did... I did just a little. There should be a warning sign on us when we are together). Go check out the rest of the photos for proof.

I gotta say, we have to have the BEST DAMN SHIP EVER! Vodka tasteing for a crew building exercise... that rocks!

Anyway... that was the vodka tasting... I'll write a bit more about the Train Ride with Lady Edana later. hehehehehehe...

Baseball Lame

So we go to the game last night and the mascot was there. This big nuclear accident orange furry thing. Supposedly it's a Prairie Dog. Huh? Why a prairie dog? Fuck if i know.


This is not a prairie dog. It's a giant rat from Chernobel.


THIS is a prairie dog, notice that it is NOT bright ORANGE!


Another photo of the Giant Chernobel Rat.


Big Rat Ass - that's not good for anyone.

Baseball Game

We went to a baseball game tonight (gag). Here are my Stick Art interpretations of the actual events. (I drew these AT the game - yes I did).

ME


Mascot or Rat


The Torture Continues

me on the way back from dinner. Bastard made me sit for another inning.

Real photos of the ACTUAL mascot rat thing will be posted tomorrow.

Porta Pottie Problems

Moments before Scotish Court was to start, Cabbage Patch announced that she needed to POTTY and since that potty incident the previous Friday had happened, I took her plea quite seriously. (that and I KNEW there was no place to procure fresh panties for her and she is not a child to go comando - much like her mother). An inquiry as to where the closest privvies were informed me that the closest ones were the *ahem* primatives and they were not far at all and CLEAN. As I didn't have the luxury to head all the way to the flushing toilets, we rushed to the porta-potties.

As promised, they were clean - no disgusting smell of urine, etc. as we approached. I herded the Little People to the large handicapped stall so we could all fit in there and that is where the problems began.

Cabbage Patch headed to the toilet and lifted the lid then announced she would NOT use that toilet. It being a well flush-less toilet, it had well unflushed paper and all in it. She found that unacceptable. And refused to use said toilet. Now... I have sympathy for the child. I absolutly despise using a public toilet let alone a porta-potty. BUT... she's 3 and there's NO way in heaven or hell that we would make it to the flushing toilets. Not a chance. Super Girl stood as far from the toilet as she could and declared that she didn't have to go with wide eyes. *sigh* Being the adult I had to take charge and MAKE Cabbage Patch go. She voiced her displeasure as I bared her bottom and placed it on the toilet seat - of which she just barely perched herself upon. But she went. And then declared that she would NOT use that toilet again. I whole heartedly agree. They may be 'CLEAN' but they were still repulsive. I think I may have to go for some kind of counseling for the next week or so - I had to use it also. Eeeek!

Scarby 4th Weekend

Because I went with The Little People, I will break my rule of never posting photos of them on here - they were soooo cute!

US!


Gathering Nuts

A fairy gathering nuts. She was tucking them in a fold in her skirt, I was afaid she would go up to the queen and drop the thing of nuts right in front of her. Luckily she abandoned her nut gathering before seeing the queen.

Mini Pirate

Captain John teaching Super Girl the fine points of being a Pirate!

Scurvy Dogs!

My crew mates - well some of them. The others must be in the brig or something to have been missing Faire.

We had such a delightful time. Super Girl and Cabbage Patch are still talking about the Fairy Eggs they got from the Mayor. They enjoyed meeting a REAL Fairy - Jodie (she really is a real life fairy, even if she doesn't know it). Becomeing a lady was fun for them, though they didn't like standing in line one bit. Lucky for them, I bought them ice cream to make up for the long line. We all enjoyed the Ded Bob show and enjoyed watching the closing ceremonies. After gate closing Captain John gave Super Girl pointers on being pirate and gave Cabbage Patch a bit of help with flying with her new wings. It was a good day for all!

Scarby! Scarby! Scarby!

I'm so excited, I'm taking The Little People to Scarby today! Super Girl is about to pop she's so excited. I've decided to forgo wearing ship colors (green and black) and wear my garb that matches Super Girl's garb (luckily her dress from last year still fits as I made it a bit big, and a gypsy skirt and shirt from 2 years ago for Super Girl will fit Cabbage Patch). Matching mommy is a really big deal for Super Girl otherwise I would either have K lace me into my red corset and drive to faire like that or would bring the green and black to wear, but since it DOES make a difference to Super Girl, I will make sure we match.

This has been a good and busy weekend. Friday night I went to pick up my belt from Lerxst and also to have dinner with him and Sable. I totally owe Sable as the Tiny Terrorist fell madly in love with her and would not give her a moment's peace - I was so rude and let the kids mob her as I went to talk to Lerxst in the garage about GROMMETS of all things! Sheesh - I deserve a smack. My appologiex Sable, that was completly rude of me and I honestly don't do that normally... but BLACK GROMMETS! I NEED SOME! Sable was an angel and is a natural with kids, she's going to make such a good mom. I can so see her making sure her and her kids have matching garb and all. heh.

The dinner was great but the REAL fun happened BEFORE we even got there. Lerxst lives about 15 minutes drive from me, we had agreed that 7ish was a good time to show up. I left at 6:30 pm knowing I needed to pick up salad and desert as well as get gas in the car. A stop off to get gas was time consumeing to say the least. Just as I walk to the cashier to pre-pay my $20 he is walking out of the little bullet proof building telling me he'll 'be right back' as he goes to walk someone through how to use their store card on the pump. *sigh* He finally saunters back and I then PUMP and now it's time to get food. Into Tom Thumb we go. Tomatoes on sale, salad 2 for one, can't find THE delightful pie I want, then Cabbage Patch says that she needs to go POTTY. I say, hold it, we are almost done... my mistake. I finally chose a pie and rush over to the potty. Where she says that she doesn't have to go anymore. She wet her pants. *sigh*. We go check out and of course the line that I go into which is very short - well I discover why - the checker is PAINFULLY slow. Out of the grocery store, stuff in the trunk, where to get fresh clothes for Cabbage Patch. Right across the street is the answer - Target. $9.99 later with a pack of Tinkerbell panties and blue shorts in hand we head back to the car to change the wee one. We arrive at Lerxst at 7:39 pm. Never a dull moment.

Well back to work.

How To Scare The Crap Out Of Me

Be RIGHT outside my door on your knees fixing the trim around the door when I open my door. I will jump back and say "*Jesus! You scared me." Where as the imigrant looking maintaince person will smile a little embarassedly and mutter a heavily accented "Sorry".

First you guys spray water in my window, now you lurk outside my door and scare me. (Damn good thing I wasn't doing something deviant and perverse like making a porn video, my blinds are open enough to see in.) Damn ya'll I swear I'm going to find that number to imigration.

*I was totally guessing as to what his name was, it could be Juan or Jose, I didn't ask.

My Trip To The PoPo



Being as it is the last business day of the month, it's my appointed day to go to the court house and throw myself at the mercy of the court... i.e. throw them some cash to keep me out of jail. I'm happy to report that I did not in fact have to suffer any extraordinary police brutality this time, no Preparation-H or LA PD style beatings, I did however have to give them MOST of my hard earned cash. But damn, now I'm a free woman. No more threat of jail, my ticket is PAID! Woohoo! time for a party... well maybe next week or so since I'm all broke and shit.

Dachshund Doodles

And now for your viewing pleasure it's time for STICK ART!

Today's art is a special request from the lovely Mystic.

If you'd like to submit an idea for STICK ART, please feel free to do so. So go ahead, you know you wanna do it... It'll make you popular. ;o)

Lady Bug, Lady Bug, Fly Away Home...



The Little People and I made a delightful discovery this morning, the field near our home is full of lady bugs! Cabbage Patch and I carried home the one pictured above (for the picture of course).

Nauseatingly Cute


My gerbils, Hanta and Bea. Awwwww!

Vacuum Blockage


To answer the question of 'What was blocking the vacuum?' there is your answer. An unidentifiable mass. And just to further satisfy you that is in fact 'An Unidentifiable Mass', I have swept it into a corner in the kitchen and will leave it there for you to examine (and clean up). Some questions are best left un-asked.

As for the burning rubber smell... well I am out of popcorn damn it - so I took Sable's suggestion of burning candles. I have all my voodoo candles burning right now. I somehow think she meant SENTED candles (which I don't own) not voodoo candles (which I have a whole shelf full of) though... it still smells like burnt rubber... but maybe it will improve my mojo. ;o)

Yes I know I frighten people, it's part of my charm. Gotta go stick some more pins in a voodoo doll now... er.. I mean make a kilt!

So Sorry I Forgot To Tell You!

But it was 2 am when I got home and after you went and got important and essential food items like bread and Blue Bell Chocolate Ice Cream, it toally went out of my head about the SWAT team or the burned clothes (hmmm.. still gotta give her props for that) or that I got a Pixie Stick or that Rigor snorted his Pixie Stick (yes he did, no I am not kidding). I promise that next time I will give you a full and complete detailed account of my karaoke adventures so you don't have to find out in such an impersonal way by reading this blog - even if it means waking you up from a nice peaceful slumber to regale you with tales of my dipshit activities and thoes of my cool friends.

Please forgive my oversight. ;o)

Things I LOVE (sarcasim)

Haveing a constipated vacuum cleaner that won't suck.
Taking apart my vacuum cleaner to remove the unidentifiable and disgusting blockage.
Having to clean up the mess from said disgusting blockage.
With my hands - ick.
Turning on vacuum to clean floor and then smelling the lovely smell of burnt rubber as the belt is broken.
Discovering the belt was broken because the sweeping bar thingie was put in wrong (by me)and it wouldn't move. Damn it.
Taking apart the vacuum again to replace the belt (with the last spare).
Vacuuming the floor and having the whole room smell like burn rubber. Yay.
Considering burning popcorn in the microwave just to get rid of the burn rubber smell.

At least the floor is vacuumed.

And I Thought I Was Offensive!

Check out The Pope's Blog. It's sure to offend in some way. Although, I'd really like that Pope Pez dispenser. I'd put it next to my other Christian Pez dispenser - Santa Pez.

Random Crap

Super Girl got her mid-nine week progress report yeterday and I am pleased to say she got a 4 (which is Highly Developed - working above level) in Reading and got 3's in everything else (which is good, it means she's right on track). The only area of concern is in conduct that she basically is hard headed. *sigh* It's the same note every grading period.

On the way to karaoke I passed a house getting raided by the SWAT team, then in the parking lot of the bar, there were two police cars and officers talking to a man who's girlfriend had slashed all his tires and thrown his clothes in a pile in the parking lot and set them on fire. hehehehe... You go crazy woman! Gotta give her props for taking initive!

Karaoke was so much fucking fun! I learned WAY too much about someone's pubes and coloring practices. Did something bizarre and obscene with someone's clip on hair. Sang Rainbow Connection (badly, very badly) with my crew. Posed for stupid pictures with Shaz being taken by people with camera phones - and one for someone who DOESN'T have a camera phone just wanted us to do that again. Had a bathroom discussion with Shaz and Jodie about small penises and how Shaz once asked a guy "What happened?" when she saw his itty bitty dick, where as I have never fronted on a guy with a small dick, Jodie did not say whether she had or had not done such a thing. I wore a fabulous hat and left at 1 am! And I didn't even drink that night, just being with my friends is ENOUGH!

This morning Super Girl melted my heart. She was standing in line to get on the bus with a handful of buttercups when she suddenly ran back to me and thrust them all in my hand saying 'these are for you'. Then she ran back in line, blew me a kis and got on the bus.

I have a love/hate relationship with Passover and all it's tasty foods. I love it all, but hate how it affects my big ass - as in making it BIGGER. Damn. I have so many left overs and they all taste so damn good it's hard to not gain weight after the Passover. Passover Pounds suck.

I've watched Muppet Treasure Island two more times since my last post concerning the movie. Arrrrggh! I got cabin fever!

I Shouldn't Laugh

Super Girl: You've got a bug on you.
*smacks sister on head*
Super Girl: There, it's gone.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???



That was just running through my living room terrorizing my youngest of offspring. The piercing screams only succeded in making that little bastard run faster and thus making it harder to photograph. I must admit that although I maintained my SUPER MOM, afraid of nothing exterior, inside I was screaming like a little girl as well. I used all my inner strength to stifel the urge to grab my offspring and flee the domicile never to return (or at least wait until K got home and could go in to secure the inside and stomp on anything icky and scary running around). I grabbed a plasic cup and a piece of paper and employed PETA approved trapping methods to trap and release the invading creepy thing into the wild (my plants actually), although when I did release (read: shook the cup vigorously to fling said bug out and not risk it crawling out and TOUCHING me as that would require me to shower again to remove offending bug germs) I thing I noticed that the trapping of the bug had injured it somehow. Hmmm... well my other option was to out right kill it by spraying it with whatever aresol spray was close and available. At anyrate, my home is safe for now.

To Love

To my dear sweet love struck friend - this is for you as well as this. Yes he does look like him. Gawd, I should be a fucking psychic, I told you it would be fine! ;o) Glad I was right. Enjoy every magical moment! Someone once told me that, and I'm glad I did. And one more thing.

Pirate Practice

My sister gifted my offspring with THE GREATEST PIRATE MOVIE EVER yesterday. As of this moment, I have watched this movie 5 times. MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND Rocks!!!

It's kind of odd, the Muppets have had a sudden surge of popularity in my home. I honestly never thought my kids would like the Muppets all that much. Other shows from my childhood that I had hoped my wee ones would love have been met with indifference to outright disdane. A few have made the cut with them (Scooby Doo) but leave me with the urge to shove red hot spoons in my eyes to end the suffering. This of course makes me nostalgic for the old Muppet Show.

Anyway... I've had 'Cabin Fever!' running through my head all morning! And now so you will also... the lyrics!

Cabin Fever
Pirates

I got cabin fever
it's burning in my brain
I've got cabin fever
it's driving me insane
We got cabin fever
we're flipping our bandanas
Been stuck at sea so long that
we have simply gone bananas

Ah!
Chica, chica, boom
Chica, chica, boom, boom, chic
Arriba!
Chica, chica, boom
Chica, chica, boom, boom, chic

We, we, we got cabin fever
we've lost what sense we had
We got cabin fever
we're all going mad

Grab your partner by the ears
Lash him to the wheel
Do-si-do step on his toe
Listen to him squeal
Allemande left, allemande right
It's time to sail or sink
Swing your partner over the side
Drop him in the drink

We got cabin fever
No ifs, ands or buts
We're disoriented
And demented
And a little nuts

Ach du liebe Volkswagen car
Yodel-lay-ee-hoo
Sauerbraten wiener schnitzel
Und wunder bar
Yodel-lay-ee-hoo

We were sailing
sailing the wind was on our side
And then it died

I've got cabin fever
I think I've lost my grip
I'd like to get my hands on
Whoever wrote this script!
Si!

I was floating 'neath a tropic moon
And dreaming of a blue lagoon
Now I'm crazy as a loon

Cabin fever has ravaged all aboard
This once proud vessel
has become a floating psycho ward
We were sailing, sailing
headed who knows where
And now though we're all here
We're not all there

Arriba!
Cabin fever!
Ahh!

Stick Art!!!



As requested by the lovely Contessa herself.

BIG ME





Two photos of me from last year. I've lost 30 lbs from this time last year.

Another Picture!


Emerald Dragon Crew
Aren't we the coolest looking pirates??? Okay I don't look very piratey, but I'm working on it!

One Photo So Far!



Thanks to the lovely Crystal, I now have ONE photo from this past weekend. And it's a damn good photo! Huzzah to Crystal!

Scarby Photos?

Where, oh where are my scarby photos??? Not on my camera it would seem, because although I DID bring my camera on Sunday, I however forgot to put the damn memory card in. Doh!

As it was I didn't get to faire until 3 pm on Sunday. Although I got off work promptly at noon I didn't leave home until nearly 2 pm as I was having stomach issues. I absolutly hate getting sick enough to be throwing up, it takes me forever to recover. After an extra dose of stomach medicine I felt well enough to go.

I thougth for certain that I had gotten to faire too late for Scottish court and had missed our ships introduction to the queen by The Dark Scorpion, but lucky for me I made it just moments before and was able to participate. Unfortunately NO one has posted photos of me and my shipmates soooooooo I have none to post. Come on people.. it's Tuesday... I saw a lot of cameras flashing!

Later I stopped by Shatzie's booth and I picked up some lovely gold kitty lips. Check out Schatzie's Pucker Pins if you are at faire. Then we headed off to catch the last show of Juan and Miguel in the rain (light shower).

Gotta love my gold pussy lips!

AFTER faire, we headed over to Johny Carino's for dinner. mmmmm the gorgonzola penne was good, could have used more mushrooms and tomatoes, but it was really good.

What a great day! What great friends! *sigh* can't wait for next week!

Off to make a kilt!

Feel The Heat

Some guy just told me I'm hot... not just hot, but that I put all the other women to shame... I'm that hot. hehe Crazy mutha fucker, but I think I like him!

Passover 2005!!
OR
A 99% Jew Free Passover Seder!
(well since it's just me that's a Jew and the kids only count for half... )

Prayers And Candle Lighting

... not stetting my gerbils on fire as it may appear.

Matzo Shark!

Everybody run!

What Glass Of Wine Are We On?


Festive

Because after a few bottles of Kosher wine, who isn't?

What The Hell??

I told you he was my bitch!

Hi?

No - Chai! It's my Passover present from Jodie. (love her!) Now I'm more Jew than you! (which is really no different than it always was really...)

The Passover rocked as usual. Check out all of the photos here. Excuse the quality of the photos, I had my camera set for close up photos and didn't realize it until later when I was taking porno.. I mean cleaning my camera. Petey's wife, The Bear joined us this year. There were many many laughs and as much matzo and kosher wine as one could stand!

Highlights of the evening:
Everyone trying the badass horseradish that Petey had gotten. It was STRONG. I will never ever get another brand.

Cabbage Patch eating her soup but not the Matzah balls and when asked why not eat them, they are good, her saying "No, that's poop!" I blame her father's Christian genetics for my child disrespecting a sacred Jewish staple. But I did laugh for several minutes after that.

Kent being a Matzoh Shark. du-du... du-du...

Leftovers! Damn I could eat Matzah Ball Soup every damn day! (and I will!) The food rocked.

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Sister Fist of Patient Freedom. What's yours?


Now read this article for something funny.

Have You Hugged A Tree Today?

Today is earth day. I'm not really sure what that means other than it prompted an arguement with my oldest this morning over what she was going to wear. Seems it's Spirit Day at school also and they were supposed to wear jeans and a red, green or blue shirt. This was something that was told to me just moments before we were to walk to the bus stop. Super Girl wore her blue shirt Thursday and doesn't even own a green one. As far as a red one... well we did manage to find the only RED shirt she owns. Super Girl is of the age of BARBIE and much of her clothing is in varing shades of PINK or PURPLE. Honestly I have no clue what Red, Green or Blue shirts have to do with Earth Day.

I did my part to conserve today. I conserved my energy by taking two naps. Yeah. I'm recovering from my illness though. I think I'll go finish my conservation efforts now.

Not The Way I Had Imagined!

I've been sick most of this day. K stayed home because he was sick, I started feeling sick shortly after Super Girl headed off to school. Thank goodness Cabbage Patch is basically a good little one because I spent the day on the couch or in the bathroom.

Somehow I've managed to have my home become Biohazard Central again. Cabbage Patch pukey on Monday, Super Girl being sent home for her rash on Tuesday and a trip to the clinic, then her home Wednesday just as a precaution and now both K and I are just really sick today.

I'm desperately behind now, I haven't managed to get anything done this week. I'm hope to wake feeling right as rain tomorrow and full of energy and motivation. Hopeing, hopeing, hopeing. Now I need to head back to bed to get a bit of sleep before I have to visit the bathroom again. Night all.

All Men ARE Created Equal!

At least according to this penis study they do.

My favorite part of the article... the last paragraph where it says "...so the penile size is not static." and "...this could spur yet another study." I wonder how I could get on that research team! ;o) kidding! Kidding! I'd spend all my time snickering and giggling. But I do wonder if I could submit my *ahem* independent study results to help prove the statement in the next to last paragraph... oh yeah baby... that's true!

Stick Art

Yesterday while being tortured... er.. I mean waiting to see the doctor, I was stuck with an amazing and startling moment of creativity. I felt as though I had been revived more than if I had just chugged two Grande double shot espressos from Starbucks (with extra cream and sugar for good measure). What many people don't realize is that years ago (back in high school) I was a master of STICK ART. Yes, yes that was me, I know you are all amazed. You've had a master in your presence and you didn't even know it. It's okay, I prefer to be treated like one of you, just as a normal person. ;o)

Below are some of the master pieces I produced last night.

CSI Scene

A masterfully detailed crime scene complete with stick CSI.

Stick Jesus

At the request of the Little People. Stick Jesus, complete with sandals.

Stick Pope

And at the request of K, Stick Pope.

Enjoy. Feel free to suggest more Stick Art subjects, I plan to create many more Stick Art pieces. I know you are excited. ;o)

Tell Me Something I Don't Know!

So we go to the clinic with Super Girl and she's diagnosed with... contact dermatitis from poison ivy (just what I said) and I was told to give her Benedryl (like I have been) and put hyrocortozone cream on her rash (like I have been also). So basically we wasted 4 fucking hours (clinic time then going to get some food because it was so late and we were fucking starving) to hear from the doctor that she has what I said she does and I'm doing what I should be. Fucking school. Now it still remains to be decided if she will go back to school tomorrow. I WANT her back in school tomorrow, oh do I want her back in school, but I just might get a high powered rifle and look for a bell tower to take aim from if I get another call from the school nurse about that damn rash. *sigh* deep cleansing breaths...

Odd Sightings

So last weekend at Scarby I was at the Iris and Rose show and I saw this guy who looked familiar and then he made eye contact with me and gave me a sly smile and then I recognized him as someone I had gone out with! Damn! I didn't say anything because I didn't really know what to say to my friend "say, look at the dude in the kilt. No not that one, the other one, no the other one.. yeah him, yeah I fucked him.. I mean we went out." Seemed slightly inappropriate for some reason.

Anyway... fast forward to tonight. We go to a local Italian place for dinner, right after we order Cabbage Patch has to go potty. So lucky momma get's the job. When I return to the table K is standing by the table talking to someone who has their back to me. I get to the table and see that it's R! We haven't seen him in months! And then I remember seeing the guy from Scarby and I think "This is totally fucked up, am I going to keep running into men I've slept with?" I think that for a while after R goes back to his table with his family and other friends then I look at the table and recognize a former nurse and a doctor (married couple) that I know from work! I go talk to them, they live across the street from R's parents and have know them for years. It was weird and then I figured my theory of continuing to run into men I've had biblical relations with was just a fluke and that I'm thankfull for that because that would just get weird. But R is so funny, he was like "you look great!" lyeing mutha fucka! I looked like shit! My hair is just BARELY clean, I had no make up on and I was tired. He's just saying that to see if he can get in my panties! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! He's going to have to work harder than that!

And now I'm tired. I believe I'll turn in early and worry about catching up on shit tomorrow.

Something To Make Me Smile!

Last night I submitted a sketch for some work I've been asked to do. It's something that the requestor wanted me to use my artistic vision for how it will look. The response to day was overwhelmingly possitive! I'm excited and now a little full of myself. ;o)

Death To Those With The Power Hose!

Gawd-damn! What the fuck??? The maintenance people (or whoever the imigrant looking people outside were) were washing the outside of the building with some kind of power water spitting thing. Part of the washing included the windows... including my window that is OPEN! They squirted water right in my fucking window! I'm fairly certain they realized what they did as they quickly shut off the equipment and moved to a different building. Mutha Fuckas! Making me wanna call imigration or something! DAMN it!

The Excitement Never Ends!

I sit here waiting for K to come home from work so I can run to school and pick up Super Girl. Seems the rash on her face is freaking out the teacher and the school nurse. I'll take her to the clinic later just to be safe, but a call to my aunt (a doctor) and my grandmother (a retired nurse) left me feeling pretty confident that it's not to serious. Although I may end up keeping Super Girl home tomorrow if she's still swollen, just so I don't get a call from the nurse.

*sigh* So now I'm off schedule by half a day. Luckily K is staying home as it would be pointless for him to go back then have to leave early again (we are going to take Super Girl to the clinic later just as a precaution and to make the school happy). K has promised to watch the kids so I can get some sewing done. YAY! One good thing, I did get to run down to my clinic and get my pills, which I might have had to wait to get as K was going to go to the ballet with B tonight. Sorry guys for ruining your date.

Must go, those kilts aren't making themselves! (which is actually good since I'm getting paid to make them!) I'll be posting photos later of the amazing process.

A Life So Glamorous That Robin Leach Calls At Least Once A Week!

This is how my day has been....

Alarm goes off at 6:30 am, get out of bed, K herds the Little People down the stairs to get ready. One look at Super Girl, my thoughts "Holy Shit! Her head is the size of a watermelon!" Damned poison ivy! (yes my darling child has gotten into poison ivy yet AGAIN!) After a brief consultation with K as to whether to keep her home or let her go to school, it was decided that I would give her the allergy medicine to bring down the swelling, put on the anti-ich cream and the stuff to keep it from getting all icky and we'd just send her on to school. Today was the class field trip to the zoo and she's been looking forward to this for weeks. So off she went. I wrote a note to the teacher that Super Girl's rash was from poison ivy, but she was medicated and would be fine. I still got a call from the school nurse asking if she would be okay to go to the zoo, I assured her that Super Girl would be fine. Then I finally get my coffee - sheesh!

Lunch time... mmmmm tuna melt... made lunch for Cabbage Patch, took phone call from someone from Friday party. Cabbage Patch fell asleep on the sofa. When she woke from her nap she said that her stomach hurt. Then she threw up on the couch. *sigh* Luckily it was on a blanket on the couch. Cats and toddlers... can't seem to vomit in a toilet. It was time to get Super Girl from the bus then. I got the following note in her folder:

Dear Super Mom,

Did you give Super Girl some medicine that may have affected her bahavior today? She threw a rock at the bald eagles! She also ran around and wouldn't stay with the parents and the class!

The Teacher

Yay. My kid throwing a rock at the bald eagle. Good one. I'm so proud. *eyes rolling up in head*

Back home, we are watching The Muppets Take Manhattan for the 20th time today when Cabbage Patch stands up and says that her stomach hurts. I ask if she needs to throw up to which she replies 'yes'. I tell her to go into the bathroom and throw up in the toilet. She goes, then comes back in the living room. I ask if she threw up 'no', ask if she still has to throw up 'yes' and then tell her adamantly to GO BACK TO THE BATHROOM! So she stands there and throws up... on the sofa... and the blanket... and the floor... and on ME! SHIT! She finishes her Exorcist impression and I cart another bundle of clothes to the washer. And curse K for being the one with a full time job, I would so rather have been the one to HEAR this story rather than tell it.

The rest of the evening was a blur of making dinner, bathing kids, sending one off to bed early and contemplating why I would get thrown up on twice and still get $10 in the mail for testing crappy shampoo. Karmic balancing of the stranges sort.

I suppose my Saturday night Chinese food fortune sumed it up perfectly though:

You are an adventurer - traveling on the highway of life.

Let's just hope tomorrow's travel doesn't involve vomit or evil children.

Scarby Photos Weekend 2

The Captain And Me


The Captain And The Ladies

Me blinding everyone with the glare of the sun off my super white boobs.

Most of The Crew

I think we took this photo 3 times.

Checking Out What's On The Horizon

Hmmm... No wonder the captain is always got a smile on his face!

It Finally Happened!

Everyone told her she'd put someone's eye out with one of those!

It was a quiet weekend but much fun! Go see the other photos in my album!

Other things...

What a weekend! Damn it was fabulous! The party was too much fun! I didn't get home until 5:30 am. Then I got an hour and a half of sleep and headed to work and of course I had to work a LONG day - I didn't pull back in to home until 5:30 pm. So I was TIRED. Thank heavens for Chinese take out!

Sunday I got off work at 12:30 pm and headed to faire! Woohoo! (see pictures above) I eventually bumped into my friends. We took crew pictures and chatted for a bit. I'm not sure why everyone was sooooo interested in my necklace. People kept pointing to my neck and saying "What's that?", my goodness people, you've all seen my charms before! ;o)

I was going to go to dinner with the crew BUT they left me! Whaaaa! No biggie, it's not like my hips needed another couple of enchaladas to make the wider.

Whew... what a weekend!